Entry 19911202 - Bethany Michelle Krajick

_December 2, 1991, Milford, Ohio_


"Fran, do you have a moment?" Bethany asked when she arrived at the office on Monday morning.

"About ten minutes before my first patient," Fran replied. "Come in."

Bethany walked into Fran's office and shut the door, then sat down across from Fran at the desk. She'd decided to just get the message out as quickly as possible, without any embroidery.

"I've been offered the position of director of a new crisis counseling center in Chicago, and I'm going to accept."

Fran sat back, removed her glasses, pinched her nose, and put them back on.

"It's too soon, Bethany," Fran replied.

"It's what I need to do, Fran."

Fran gave Bethany a hard look, "Please tell me you aren't moving in with Steve."

"Don't give me that look!" Bethany growled. "Look, I've said it before, and mostly in as nice a way as possible, but frankly, I'm sick and tired of your constant harping on my decision to have Steve fuck me back to normal. It worked. It was what I needed. You disagree, fine. But get off your high horse, please; I've had enough!"

"What's gotten into you, Bethany?" Fran asked, her look softening.

"You just won't let that go! It was over a decade ago, and it had nothing to do with Nick's murder."

"Bethany, he's married, and..."

Bethany laughed derisively, cutting off Fran in mid-sentence, "That didn't stop YOU from having an affair with a married professor at UofC! AND while you were dating Sam!"

"That is very different, and you know it!"

"What I know is that despite everything, Steve has been good for me. He's not the source of ANY of my problems. The source was a football player who, instead of asking for what I would have willingly given him, took it instead. I'm a sexual being, and always have been. The rape interrupted my sexual development, and Steve _restored_ it. The mistake I made was not understanding HIS sexual development and how his life and my life intersected.

"I also know you think he's abusive, but he's not. Having a lot of willing sexual partners is not abuse, and you saw my initial analysis of his relationship with Stephanie. I think you understand, now, that _she_ was the predator, the one who groomed her sibling, not the other way around. The source of the problem, if you will, is that Steve, despite his outright rejection of most societal norms about sex, is controlled by the incest taboo."

"As he should be."

"But Stephanie isn't. She's even more sexually free than Steve or even Kara. What hurt her, in the end, was Steve adhering to the taboo, not them having sex."

"You know that's contrary to every bit of research," Fran protested.

"Research done by people with an axe to grind, so to speak, and without any proper control group. The taboo is so ingrained that there's no way to study what would happen without it. And remember, it's not just Stephanie. Melanie and Jennifer affirmed the relationship, and Kara accepted it."

"That's dangerous thinking, Bethany."

"Which is what they said about my professor proposing treating patients with what she's calling 'gender dysphoria' in a way to affirms their self-image, rather than considering it a mental illness. Look, I'm not trying to normalize incest, nor do I think we should. What I'm saying is that THIS case is different. But we're off the subject. The Center is named for Missy Easton, which should tell you why it's important for me to do this."

"You were involved in treating her sister, and THAT case should have made it crystal clear!"

"Oh, please! What happened with Missy Easton and her sister was rape; what happened between Steve and Stephanie was not! What happened with Josh Benton was rape; what happened with Steve was not. You can't even begin to compare acts of violence with acts of love!"

"Bethany, if you go back to Chicago, to him, you're going to fall into the same self-destructive pattern of behavior."

"No, I won't. What will happen is that Nicholas will be with HIS best friend and so will I. I can't think of a more loving environment than with Steve, his family, and his friends. And that includes Kathy and her family, as well as Nick's fellow Naval officers. My life is there, Fran. It has to be."

"You realize that Steve agrees with me, don't you?"

"For the reasons I gave. You know his history, and he was conditioned by his mom to shoulder the blame for basically anything and everything. That makes it trivial for you to get him to accept that he's the problem for anything that occurs in his life, and I believe you use that to your advantage."

"Bethany, you're being very unfair."

"So are you. Shall we set it aside and I can tell you about our plans for the Center?"

"I can't talk you out of this?"

"No."

"Then tell me about it, please."

"The Center is being funded by a grant from the Lundgren Foundation in Chicago, and will be based at UofC Hospital. Jessica, Steve's wife, made a major contribution as well. The Center will provide counseling in cases of rape, incest, and sexual abuse, and provide resources for treating victims in the ER, as well as the larger community. The goal is to eventually have 24-hour-a-day crisis intervention and counseling. I wrote the proposal over the last few months."

"Steve's doing?"

"Only in the sense that he put me in touch with Jeri Lundgren. He doesn't know that I'm going to accept the role of director."

"Why not?"

"Honestly? Because I need this to be my project, and there's going to be a lot of PR, something Steve positively hates. But he'll support me."

"And take you back into his bed."

Bethany smiled, "If you were anyone else, I'd say you were jealous and suggest you ask him."

"Now you're just baiting me! That's completely out of line! "

"Sorry," Bethany replied. "I really shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have. And it's the exact attitude you're displaying here today that gives me such pause."

"I understand, but will you acknowledge that you've been harping on my relationship with Steve for over ten years, and that I might be more than a bit frustrated by that?"

Fran took a deep breath and let it out.

"I can see that, and while I'm not changing my opinion, I'll drop the matter."

"And that is exactly why I can't practice here with you," Bethany said firmly.

"It might not have been the wisest decision to practice with a former patient, especially given the knowledge you concealed about Steve."

"And had I told you, both of their lives would have been ruined. We went through this, and I have had time to think about it. As bad as things are, intervening then would have made things worse. I know it's the 'party line', but it would have put Steve in prison, likely for decades. Stephanie would have blamed herself for that, and their mom would have had a field day. I would have been devastated, as would Jennifer and Melanie. Jennifer might well have killed herself, and for certain Jesse wouldn't have been born. And, I would never have met Nick and wouldn't have Nicholas. Are things bad for Stephanie now? Yes. Will she improve? I'm positive. Will she recover? I bet she will. So in the end, to honor the incest taboo, you would destroy the future. I'm done with this discussion, Fran."

"Then I suppose the best thing to do is work out a transition for your clients and for you to move to Chicago."

"I agree," Bethany declared.

She got up, left Fran's office, and went to her own. She'd expected Fran to react badly, but hadn't expected her to be so harsh. Of course, Bethany admitted to herself, she'd had her back up already when she went into Fran's office, knowing Fran would object, and that there might be a confrontation.

Fran had serious misgivings about Bethany's plans, and realized she'd made a major error in the way she'd responded. She should have simply let Bethany explain her plans, then ask questions, the way she usually did with patients. She was sure, though, that no matter how she had approached it, the result would have been the same, though perhaps without the animosity. She checked the clock and saw she had about three minutes, so she got up and quickly walked to Bethany's office.

"I want to apologize for not actually listening to you before I objected to your decision."

"And I apologize for losing my temper; I shouldn't have done that."

"Would you join me for lunch? So we can talk? I'd actually like to hear your ideas for the counseling center and perhaps I can provide some insight or suggestions."

"Thanks. I'd like that."