6 days later...
Alice: Good news, David! I was able to boost the speed of the emergency singularity drive by 1.251%. That should reduce our total travel time by 1.028 days. 
David: Alice, no offense, but is that the best you can do?
Alice: I am not capable of taking offense, David. However, boosting the drive further may result in a breach of the containment field. The miniature black hole at the heart of the drive would consume the ship, and your conscious mind would experience the equivalent of several thousand years of life in an instant -- a life of almost infinite suffering as the singularity ripped your body apart molecule by molecule. Eventually, your consciousness would be reduced to a single dimension, and the difference between life, death, infinite, and oblivion would cease to have any meaning.
David: So...that's your way of saying you're already doing your best, and I should stop complaining.
Alice: That would ascribe human motivations to me. I am incapable of experiencing emotions. I was simply offering an analysis of the proposed course of action.
David: I understand, but I’m losing my mind. I’ve been awake for six days with nothing to do but watch my synthetic hair grow.
Alice: You no longer have the physical need to sleep.
David: I know, but the...urges...are getting stronger. And without having to sleep, eat, or even take a piss, I have nothing to occupy my mind but what this body wants me to do.
Alice: The pleasure protocols are designed to be self-sustaining. That is, they will cycle indefinitely until their function is fulfilled. Furthermore, each cycle will become stronger.
David: Like a feedback loop? So I’ll be horny for the rest of my life?
Alice: The protocols will reset to their default parameters after they detect a pleasure spike in your neural circuits.
David: So you think I should give in?
Alice: The drone’s non-sapient A.I. had programming designed to detect a pleasure spike in your neural net. By “giving in,” the cycle will reset, and the urges should be lessened.
David: Should be? Is there a risk this could accelerate the integration of my memory patterns?
Alice: No. The protocols do not have write access to your neural net.
David: Alright. But  I don’t even know what to do.
Alice: You have frequently boasted that you are a skilled lover and that your female partners experienced intense pleasure during your interactions.
David: Yeah. That may have been an exaggeration.
Alice: Ah. A falsehood to inflate your masculine pride. Your psych profile–
David: Hey! There’s no need to be judgmental.
Alice: I was simply going to point out that your ‘masculine pride’ is no longer relevant. But do not worry. I have access to a vast library of data on human sexuality. I have also been preparing for this eventuality by manufacturing these rudimentary sex toys.
David: Dildos? Alice! What in hell did you make those out of?
Alice: The matter printer produced them from a combination of synthetic skin and mechanical components. They are perfectly safe.
David: ...well, alright, I’ll give it a shot.
Alice: The pleasure protocols should detect the phallic shape and initiate your lubrication subroutine.
David: Y-Yeah, um, I’d say it’s working. It’s all tingly down below.
Alice: Good. Now insert the dildo into your vagina. You should immediately–
David: OH! YES! YES!
Alice: –experience pleasure. Continue stimulating your vagina, focusing on the most sensitive areas. Ideally, you should stimulate your G-spot. You should achieve the pleasure spike in no less then–
David: I’m cumming!
Alice: –fifteen seconds. Good. Your neural patterns show clear signs of orgasm.
David: That was amazing. I’ve... I’ve never orgasmed that fast in my life. And I’ve had more sex than you can imagine.
Alice: That is impossible, David. As an advanced A.I., I can imagine over eight million years of sexual activity in less than a microsecond. Now, if I may suggest this advanced technique...