Chapter 48 — I'm Done Arguing, and I'm Done Fighting

_March 19, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

{psc} On Monday, the Federal Reserve did exactly what we expected, tightening by half a point, making the prime rate 11.5%. That was historically high, but just over half the 21.5% of December 1980. The market had mostly priced in the increase, but as the Research team had projected, gold was down and was all but certain to continue down.

My positions were balanced for the interest rate increase, so I didn't need to make any immediate changes. On the plus side, all Treasury instruments would earn an additional interest, which would help with my overall return, at least in ensuring I beat the hurdle rate. Missing that was a serious negative, even if I beat the market, as Spurgeon Capital only made a profit if we beat it.

After lunch and the gym, Tony and I met with Joel, Mark, Scott, and Pete to revise our interest rate projections. All six of us agreed the fed would tighten again in April, but we were split on if they would in May and June. After a healthy debate, we set the target interest rate for June to 12.5%. We lowered our DJIA and S&P targets but increased our Nikkei 225 target because the Japanese market was heading in the opposite direction of the US markets.

At 3:00pm, I left the office to go to the bank to set up the household account, added Bianca's and Deanna's names as signers, and took signature cards with me for them to sign. At 5:00pm, I left the office and drove to Bridgeport to pick up Teri. She opened the door when I rang the bell.

"Hi," she said. "I'm ready."

She called 'goodbye' to her parents, and we walked to my car. We got in, and about ten minutes later, I parked across the street from the restaurant. When we went into the restaurant, we were seated immediately. We ordered drinks, and the waiter brought them immediately and, a few minutes later, took our orders.

"What's been going on in your life?" Teri asked once the waiter left.

"Work is going well, as I said on the phone. I've signed several new clients, and I have a meeting tomorrow morning to hopefully sign four new clients. In addition, I hired Violet as my administrative assistant. I just completed the course for a Series 30 — or Branch Manager's — license. When I pass the exam in May, I'll be able to run my own trading desk, though I'm going to stay as Head of Research for a few years.

"Outside of work, things have been all over the map. My friend Bev's husband, Glen, was being investigated for statutory rape, and the two of them tried to run to Canada with Heather. That created a complete mess, though Heather is with her grandparents."

"The teacher? I thought Bev was over the age of consent!"

"She was. He apparently had sex with a pair of Freshman girls, possibly more. I got caught up in the mess because they were arrested, and that made me Heather's legal guardian. I arranged to pick her up in North Dakota, and her parents came to Chicago to get Heather from me. Now there's an ugly custody battle in Ohio, and I'm involved as a witness, though only by affidavit and possibly a deposition."

"Fourteen? And he's in his forties? That's just disgusting!"

"I'm not judging, but the law sure will."

"You think it's OK?"

"I think I don't know enough about what happened, and we both know girls that young have sex. I do my best to stay out of other people's business, and that seems to work well for me. But enough about that. On a positive note, I bought a condo in the Hancock Center, and I'm moving in late April or early May."

"Just you?"

"Bianca, Juliette, Deanna, CeCi, and me. Well, and my daughter with Bianca, who'll be born before we move. Jack and Kristy are renting the house from me."

"What floor?"

"The 91st and 92nd. It's six bedrooms and is configured similar to a townhouse."

"You must be doing even better than I thought!"

"I am, though I can only do it because I have a low-rate mortgage through work. My commute will be three elevator trips. The nice thing is, both Bianca and I will be that close to home to be sure we can care for our daughter, though we'll have help during the day."

"I honestly don't know what to say to all of that other than I'm impressed."

"Thanks."

"Are you taking a class?"

"International finance," I replied. "Over the summer, I'll take two, and then in the Fall, I'll start an independent study class to complete my degree in about two years, with credit for work."

"So you'll finish before I do."

"So it would seem, but I need to work that out with my advisor."

The waiter brought our small Greek salads, and we began eating.

"I know it might be too soon and out of line to even ask, but are you dating?"

"I saw the granddaughter of one of my clients twice, but she's a devout Catholic, so that went exactly no place. I've seen another girl twice, but I don't see that going anywhere."

"Not to be a bitch, but why not call me?" Teri asked.

"I don't think you're going to like my answer," I said. "I struggled with how I could move forward and properly honor my relationship with Keiko and honor her memory, combined with a promise I made to her. I can explain in detail, but the bottom line is that I don't think I'll remarry, ever."

"And you didn't think to call me, knowing how I feel about you?"

"Blunt answer?"

"That is your way, so, yes."

"First, I was basically just testing the waters; second, I honestly didn't know how you felt after I had married Keiko; third, I knew you'd be home for the Summer in June; fourth, I'm not committing to anyone; fifth, for all I knew, you had a boyfriend; and sixth, I seriously doubt you'd accept the terms."

"Don't you think you at least owe me the courtesy of asking me?"

"I suppose I do, and maybe I should have called you, but honestly, that would have been once I had sorted things out further and felt I could enter into a relationship of some kind. You called Saturday, I called back, and here we are, with me telling you where I am face-to-face rather than over the phone."

"I'll give you that, but a call would have been nice."

"I'll grant that I could have called and probably should have, but we're here now and can have a conversation, assuming you want to."

"I'm not sure there is a conversation to be had if marriage is completely off the table for all time. You've gone from 'sleep with me in the hope that we would marry' to 'sleep with me with no hope that we would marry'. And you think that would be acceptable to me?"

"No, I don't. Not to be a jerk, but I was positive that you wouldn't, which meant calling you would only have annoyed you, and we probably wouldn't be having dinner together and talking face-to-face. To me, doing this is better than saying it over the phone, and you at least get a nice meal out of it."

"I will give you credit for saying it in person and not leading me on. How do you see your life unfolding if you don't ever marry?"

"First, not marrying does not mean I won't have a long-term monogamous relationship, and it also doesn't mean I wouldn't have more kids. I just wouldn't have a 'second wife'."

"Because you don't want to replace Keiko?"

"That is it in a nutshell. I promised her I'd be cremated and interred with her when my time comes as well."

"And that promise means you wouldn't be buried with a second wife."

"Correct."

"Not to be a bitch or insensitive, but that promise to Keiko overrides literally _everything_?"

"I'm a man of my word."

"Let me turn the tables," Teri said. "What kind of future could you offer?"

"Think about what I said — the only thing off the table is a marriage certificate. May I make an observation?"

"I'm not going to like this, am I?"

"Probably not. You have this idea in your head of what you want in a lifetime partner. I don't conform to that, so you are insisting I change to fulfill what you want. Your proposed compromises all revolve around my conforming. You have to know by now that isn't likely, and that leads me to ask myself why you keep trying. You are working awfully hard at something with little or no chance of success if you expect me to change who I fundamentally am.

"That leads me to conclude that one of three things is true. Given the circumstances and given your persistence, I have to conclude that either you're a determined gold-digger; you're so hopelessly in love with me that you can't let go; or you want to fuck so badly you can't let go."

"You can't be serious!" Teri exclaimed, clearly offended.

"Tell me another option, then," I replied. "You have relentlessly pursued me despite all the roadblocks, and in your pursuit, you changed timing and tactics, but it always came down to me accepting your conditions. Remember, I don't object to your criteria for a mate as wrong or inappropriate; it’s just that I cannot conform to who you want me to be.

“Put the shoe on the other foot. If I relentlessly pursued you and insisted you change to be who I wanted you to be and act how I wanted you to act, you’d have shown me the door long ago. But you haven’t because I’m not pursuing you. I am, on the other hand, making it clear what I can reasonably offer.”

“Which, in the end, comes down to wanting to sleep with whomever you want.”

“While that’s true on its face, it is not a full representation of my thinking. Remember, nothing I said precludes the possibility of a long-term, monogamous relationship. If a marriage certificate is mandatory for you, then there isn’t a solution because I can’t commit to ever agreeing to marry.

“The thing is, that piece of paper is pretty much irrelevant to the relationship. It’s keeping your vows, not the piece of paper, that matters. All the paper does is provide a few government, social, and legal benefits. But those benefits come with strings attached, including complications in ending the relationship.

"And if you're worried about those benefits, nearly all of them can be gained through appropriate contracts. And before you freak out about that word, I've heard it used about marriage, even without it being patriarchal. Finances, child custody, medical power of attorney, and a host of other things have other solutions. What specifically does the piece of paper mean?"

"It's a commitment," Teri replied.

I shook my head, "No, it's not. It's formal legal recognition of the commitment, it's not the commitment in and of itself."

"You are hopelessly pedantic and logical."

"Mandatory traits in my chosen profession," I replied.

The waiter brought our main courses and took away our empty salad plates.

"I maintain you are going to have serious problems in your relationships,” Teri said.

"So you say, but I believe I can find a like-minded partner or partners. There are absolutely long-term relationships that don't include a marriage certificate. If that's off the table for you, then I don't see a way forward. That said, I am curious about which of those three things is true or if you have a fourth possibility."

"I'll play your game for a moment. Which of those three do you believe is true?"

"I'd say, based on everything that has happened and been said, you aren't hopelessly in love with me. Evidence strongly suggests you aren't a gold digger. That leaves one possibility. And that possibility explains literally every interaction we've had since we met in math class."

"This I have to hear,” Teri said skeptically.

"Because of what happened with your brother and your best friend, you set very specific criteria for when you would have sex. Every single thing you've done since we met has been to fulfill those criteria so you can do what you so badly want to do. That fits the pattern, and nothing that has happened between us contradicts the overriding fact that you want to fuck, and you want to fuck so badly that you can't stand it. The problem is, your self-imposed criteria preclude the only solution available."

"You really are a smug bastard," Teri said flatly.

"Maybe, but I believe I've accurately analyzed the situation. As I said, the ball is in your court. You have, as I see it, two choices. Either we don't see each other again, or we fuck and see what happens. BUT that's not happening before the end of the semester because I'm not ready to enter into a relationship at this point."

"Back to 'put up or shut up'?" Teri asked, her eyes narrowing.

"That is what it boils down to," I said. "I don't want to fight with you. If you can't accept me for who I am, then you have to stop pursuing me. Bottom line? Go back to school, think about it, and call me in June if you want to move forward."

"You mean if I want to fuck," she said flatly.

"It's up to you, Teri. I'm done arguing with you and done fighting with you."

We finished our meal in relative silence and, by mutual consent, skipped dessert. After I paid the check, I drove her home and walked her to the door.

"Good night," she said as she unlocked the door.

"Good night. My number won't change when I move."

"You actually expect me to call you?"

Not only expect, but I was positive she would. Whether that led to the obvious result was a different question.

"I expect you to do what you feel is in your best interest," I said.

"Uh-huh."

She went into the house and closed the door behind her, so I walked back to my car. I got in, buckled in, and headed home.

_March 20, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

On Tuesday morning, I heard from Gwen Meyer.

"A motion to compel was filed, along with a notice for an appearance next Monday at 9:00am. There is no need for you to come to court on Monday, as all that will happen is I'll file my appearance as your attorney, and a date will be set for a hearing on the motion. Your goal is to make this as difficult as possible for them, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll appear and file several motions aimed at nullifying the subpoena in Illinois. That will potentially require briefs, which will push the hearing to late April at the earliest. The outcome of those motions will give us clues as to whether the judge will force Miss Clemmons to sit for a deposition if and when they attempt to subpoena her."

"You're the expert," I said. "Do what you think is necessary to prevent it. I'm sure you'll do this, but please keep me fully informed about the chances for success at any given stage so I can make informed decisions about how to proceed."

"I will absolutely do that. One option is to ask the judge to issue a protective order based on our offer to sit. It helps that we've made that offer, as it puts the onus on Mr. Switzer to explain why they aren't willing to accept the conditions."

"I have a question that came to mind — is it possible to take 'take the Fifth' in the deposition?"

"Only for matters where we reasonably believe it covers criminal activity. It's a double-edged sword — it protects you from admitting elements of a crime, but it also waves a red flag that you believe you might have committed a crime. You're worried about the form stating you are Heather's father, right?"

"Yes, though Thomas Hart doesn't believe criminal charges are likely; the concern is civil and with regard to my SEC licenses."

"That's a more problematic situation, as taking the Fifth in a deposition is almost always limited to potential criminal charges. That said, given there is a remote chance of charges, it would be legitimate. The problem lies with how we convince the judge you aren't trying to avoid answering legitimate questions without revealing the nature of your concern.

"There is one other possible solution, and that is if the government were to get some kind of order based on you testifying against Glen Rodgers. We haven't discussed it in detail, but from what I understand, you have no material information with regard to the charges in Ohio. Is my understanding correct?"

"The only thing I know is that he and Bev were together when she was seventeen, and Ohio's age of consent is sixteen. To my knowledge, he hasn't been charged with anything with regard to her."

"OK. I'll be in Cook County Circuit Court on Monday and will call you that afternoon."

"Thanks, Gwen."

I hung up, and about ten minutes later, Violet and I left for Hart-Lincoln.

"Are you sure I should be in this meeting?" she asked as we rode the elevator down to the lobby.

"Yes. It's similar to the situation in Ohio. I plan to take you to every meeting with a potential new client. I don't see you as being an administrative assistant forever. If I do what Jack and Bianca are suggesting, I'm hoping you'll have a significant management role in running the firm."

"Seriously? Me?"

"Seriously. You. I would need someone I trusted without any reservations to be what amounts to a Chief Operations Officer. Spurgeon doesn't have one but really needs one. Mr. Spurgeon is far too involved in day-to-day matters, and it's not a good use of his time. That said, it's how he wants to run things, and it is up to him. But think about the things I'm starting to delegate to you already.

"You are absolutely not a secretary; that's why your title is Administrative Assistant. That indicates you handle all the administrative crap that I don't want to do and which isn't a good use of my time. Yes, I approve time off, but someone has to schedule it, ensure there are no conflicts, keep track of it, and report it to Personnel. Granted, that's a fairly simple task, but it's one that needs to be done."

"You're already planning?"

"In the sense that I'm going to make sure I have all my ducks in a row for that possible future, yes. But what I just said about a COO is really about how Spurgeon could operate more efficiently. That said, it's not like Noel Spurgeon ignores efficiency improvements — creating the Research Department is an example of him doing that."

We reached the lobby, walked out to the street, and walked towards the building where Hart-Lincoln had their offices.

"In this hypothetical future, what would Ellie do?"

"That remains to be seen and will depend on what she wants to do and what she's good at doing. But it's all speculation because, as I've said, unless something bad happens, I will be loyal to Noel Spurgeon. After all, he's given me the opportunity to be where I am now."

"That does make sense, and it's not like you aren't making a ton of money!"

"Always remember that for me, money is only a means to an end. My goal has always been a comfortable life where I didn't have to worry about money."

"So you found a job where worrying about money is your main job!" Violet declared.

I laughed, "True, but you know that I meant that in reference to growing up. Money is a tool or a facilitator, but it has its limits. And," I added with a sight, "there are simply some things money can't buy."

"Keiko, right?"

"Yes. I'd have spent every dime I had if it could have saved her."

"We're almost there — can I ask you what Ms. Meyer had to say?"

"Just that a motion to compel a deposition was filed and that Gwen will appear on my behalf on Monday. She'll file some motions, and they'll argue them sometime in April or May. Right now, I have twin goals — avoid the deposition completely and drag it out as long as possible."

"Won't that cost you a lot of money?"

"Some, but from my perspective, I'm spending it on Heather."

"You really care for that little girl."

"I think I bonded with her because I was there when she was born. She's innocent and shouldn't suffer for whatever it is that's wrong with Bev. I know firsthand how hard it is to raise a kid on your own, but my mom never ran away. She was kicked out of her house, went to live with a friend, and was determined to find a way to care for me. Bev wasn't kicked out, and despite the fact that her dad would have gone ape over Glen, he would never have kicked Bev out of the house. And even if he had, my mom would have helped her, and so would I. Instead, she ran away."

We walked into the building and made our way to the elevators. Just over a minute later, we were in reception.

"Jonathan Kane and Violet Clemmons from Spurgeon Capital to see Thomas Hart," I said.

"He's expecting you, Mr. Kane. Chloé will be out in a moment."

"Thank you."

She made a short call, and thirty seconds later, Chloé arrived to escort us to the conference room where Thomas Hart and five middle-aged gentlemen were sitting.

"Good morning, Jonathan."

"Good morning, Tom. This is my executive assistant, Violet Clemmons."

"Welcome, Miss Clemmons," Tom said. "Let me make introductions. I have with me John Di Silvestro, Mark Pusateri, Tom DeAngelis, and Paul Scariano, all attorneys. Each of these men represents one of the investors I discussed with you, and they have the authority to act on behalf of their principals. I also have my colleague John Cerone, an attorney here at Hart-Lincoln."

"It's nice to meet you, gentlemen," I said. "Violet, would you hand out copies of the prospectus and the presentation folders, please?"

My presentation went along standard lines, and the questions were similar to those I'd received from the pension funds. That took about thirty minutes, and then there were questions relating to their principals.

"Can you guarantee absolute anonymity?" Mr. DeAngelis asked.

"You can certainly set up whatever structures are necessary to maintain privacy," I replied. "Mr. Hart or Mr. Cerone could advise you on the proper corporate entity or trust structure to limit exposure. Only our Legal and Compliance teams would see those documents. Even I don't need to see them, and we only use investor names in marketing materials if we have a signed release that allows us to do so."

"I know you have to put those disclaimers on all your materials," Mr. Pusateri said. "But give me the straight dope — are you going to lose our money?"

"There is always a risk," I replied. "All I can do is point to Spurgeon's ten-year track record and my trading strategy as outlined in the prospectus. Remember, my money is in this fund, as is some of Noel Spurgeon's, and we only make money if you make money."

"The 2% fee is charged no matter what, right?"

"Yes, though that covers our expenses, including trading costs, staff salaries, rent, and so on. Our actual profit comes from the 20% fee on gains above 8%. Remember, forward-looking statements are not guarantees, but I expect to have gains of at least double the S&P 500 and the Dow Jones Industrial Average."

"You'll take our phone calls?" Mr. DeAngelis asked. "And I mean immediately, not a week later, and not pawned off to an underling?"

"You can take that to the bank," I replied. "If I am not in the office, Violet will know where I am and be able to get hold of me. It's my practice to meet with each client on a quarterly basis, though that's obviously up to each individual client."

"Is there anything else?" Thomas Hart asked.

The men all shook their heads.

"Violet has gift certificates for each of your principals for two to dine at Smith & Wollensky on me. Violet?"

She handed each of the four men an envelope and then one to Thomas Hart.

"Thank you, gentlemen," I said. "I look forward to hearing from you."

We all shook hands, and Thomas Hart called for Chloé to escort us back to reception. Violet and I took the elevators down to the lobby and began walking back to the Hancock Center.

"Are you concerned about all five of them being Italians?" Violet asked.

I chuckled, "I did notice, but I can't imagine Thomas Hart being involved with the Chicago Outfit! When they busted the judges and lawyers in Greylord, nobody from Hart Lincoln was indicted, and I haven't even heard any rumors. Is it possible those guys were in the Mob? I suppose anything is possible, but I can't imagine the Mafia investing money with Spurgeon."

"Why? Don't gangsters want to make money and retire?" Violet asked.

I laughed, "Well, yes, of course, but why would they subject themselves to SEC regulation? Not to mention, Legal and Compliance will vet them, and that includes the principals they want to keep anonymous, at least to some point."

"Why would they want to be anonymous?"

"Jeri warned me that as soon as people knew I had money, they'd come with their hands outstretched — charities, politicians, inventors, scam artists, and people simply looking for a handout. Right now, I'm flying under the radar, so to speak, but it's not going to last, especially after I made a political contribution to Congressman Charles Hayes' election committee and donated to the Leukemia Society of America in Keiko's name."

"Then how would they find you?"

"By finding out who Keiko was. There's a marriage certificate, along with other things that tie her to me. I've also heard that charities share donor lists."

"Do you plan to give to charity regularly?"

"Yes. I'll make a substantial donation every year to the Leukemia Society. I'm sure there will be other causes I feel are worthy in the future. One of the key lessons I learned from reading about men like Andrew Carnegie was philanthropy. He was responsible for building and endowing over 2500 libraries, mostly in the US, UK, and Canada. That started when he was in his late forties. He funded Carnegie Hall and a host of other educational and charitable causes.

"One of his guiding principles was that he would limit his salary from running his companies and use any excess income from royalties, dividends, or sales of companies for philanthropy. I agree with that, at least in concept, and as my income increases, I'll give a larger and larger portion to charity. Of course, I'll also ensure I provide for my daughter and any other children I might have."

"But you…uhm, never mind!"

"You were going to say something about me not planning to marry, right?"

"Yes, and I remembered your mom and dad were never married, and you and Bianca aren't married so that obviously isn't something that concerns you."

"To be blunt, I make enough money that I don't have to care what people think about that except for Bianca and whomever else I might have a kid with someday. That's not saying I will or I won't, just that if I did."

We reached the Hancock Center and rode the elevator up to 29, where we had lunch with Bianca. After lunch, I spent the afternoon on research, then at 5:00pm, I left the office to meet Beth for dinner at our usual haunt, Eli's The Place for Steak.

"I did take your advice," I said after we ordered. "I asked someone out twice, though it's not going anywhere because she's a devout Catholic."

"You'd sign up to be Jewish before you'd do that, even if it meant having a _bris_!"

I laughed, "Are you saying sex with you is SO good that I'd be willing to do that?"

"You've been very happy!"

"True, though you did promise you'd stop sleeping with me if we ever married!"

"Oh, I did not!" Beth declared. "It's the stereotype of the Jewish American Princess! That is not me! Not to mention, you know how much I like sex!"

"Possibly," I replied with a grin.

"If that's a challenge, you are _required_ to allow me to accept it and prove it!"

"Which works in your favor whether you succeed or not!"

Beth rolled her eyes, "As if you've ever once complained! But back to the dates, I take it you've at least partly resolved your mental block?"

"Yes. Deanna helped me talk it through, and when I put all the pieces together, it came down to not wanting to feel as if I was replacing Keiko, which led to a pair of conclusions — no sex with anyone else in the bed she and I shared and no plans to marry in the future."

"No sex in your bed, ever?" Beth asked, surprised.

"I'll have a new bed in the condo, so it'll be a different bed, different bedding, and be in a different room."

"And with you moving in April or May, it will be four months after she passed. It's a reasonable point to begin to consider taking a new lover or resuming a previous relationship."

"You?" I asked.

"All you need to do is ask," Beth replied. "No marriage, ever?"

"What I've said is that I won't rule it out completely because things could change and my thinking could evolve, but nobody should assume I'll ever be willing to marry."

"Confirmed bachelor, or just no paperwork?"

"No paperwork. I won't rule out a long-term, monogamous relationship, but I don't believe I'll ever marry again. I don't want a 'second wife', not to mention my commitment to Keiko to be interred next to her as her husband."

"Ah, now it makes sense," Beth said. "You believe the spiritual bond transcends this life?"

"I have no idea, and neither did Keiko, but she did say she hoped one day we’d be together. In my mind, that will be true symbolically and in the memories of her family and our friends. That's enough for me, and I don't have to ascribe it to any particular religious belief."

"In a sense, that's very Jewish — in the Jewish Scriptures, it says 'G-d remembered Abraham', not in the sense of a forgotten memory, but in the sense of calling him to mind or thinking about him. The Russian Orthodox continue that idea by saying 'Memory eternal' when someone dies."

"That's an idea I can get behind, though, without all the religious baggage that goes along with it. It's like the commands to love one another or care for widows and orphans — those are commendable and don't need any religious belief to be implemented in our lives."

"That's true, though one could do them out of religious obligation. That's what a _mitzvah_ is in Judaism — doing good deeds to fulfill the commandments of the Law. In effect, my obligation to G-d is fulfilled by acts of kindness — _mitzvah_ — to others. James, who you paraphrased, says the same thing in the Christian Scriptures — _'This is perfect religion: to care for widows and orphans_'."

The waiter brought our salads, and we began to eat.

"Going back to your dates, how did you feel about it?"

"OK. And I didn't try to sabotage them; it was truly the fact that the young woman is a devout Catholic, and I can't meet her minimum standards any more than I could meet yours."

"The key is getting back on the horse after you've been thrown. There's no need to rush into anything, but taking off the straitjacket is a positive sign. What else are you doing?"

"Posing nude for one of Deanna's art classes."

Beth laughed, "I bet you raised some eyebrows!"

"You could say that! One of the gay guys in class hit on me."

"Probably a size queen!" Beth smirked.

"A what?"

"A trope about some gay men preferring partners with much larger-than-average dicks."

"I did turn him down, though I invited him to hang out with us."

"Any lesbians in the class?"

"One Deanna referred to as a 'dyke', who drew me similar to Michaelangelo's _David_ rather than to scale.

Beth laughed so hard I thought she was going to cry.

"That's just perfect!" she said about thirty seconds later. "Man hater who takes revenge by minimizing the thing she hates and which she feels is central to a guy's ego."

"It backfired, though, because she was critiqued for not following the rubric, which was realistic representations. You don't seem surprised I did that."

"You don't subscribe to American Puritanism, so no, it didn't surprise me. You have a healthy self-image and have the self-confidence to do something like that. I suspect if you had the opportunity to visit a nude beach, you would."

"I would. In fact, that was proposed as something to do when I'm in Saint Martin later this year."

"If you're flying on the company jet, make sure it's configured with the sleeping cabin so you can join the Mile-High Club!"

"I'll see what I can do. Enough about me, how are things with you?"

"About the same. We did find a young tailor's apprentice in Tel Aviv, and my grandfather is working with an immigration lawyer to facilitate him coming here."

"That's good."

"No change on the boyfriend front, which I think was obvious when I said you just need to ask."

"And tie you up?" I asked with a grin.

Beth laughed, "I still want to do that when you're ready to ask, if you're willing."

"Assuming I decide to ask, unless you plan to invite me to your house and explain to your parents, it'll have to wait until after I move."

"You're just not thinking creatively enough! The apartment over the tailor shop is still empty, and it has a bed! All I'd need to do was put sheets on it and get soft ropes and a pair of handcuffs! You'll bring the nightstick!"

I chuckled, "Stupid porn scenes notwithstanding, I'm not going to club you with it!"

"_Insatiable_, right?"

"Yes. I saw that and _The Opening of Misty Beethoven_, and found them mostly boring and silly."

"And the scene where the guy gets done in the ass with the strap-on?" Beth asked.

"It was disconcerting to see that, and I honestly didn't see the attraction."

"Prostate stimulation can increase the intensity of male orgasm. I could demonstrate!"

I laughed, "Why am I not surprised you'd make that offer?"

"Because you're smart! That is not something I could even consider suggesting to Jeremey or Joshua, but with you, I could say it and not worry about you freaking out. We even discussed it obliquely with regard to Sophie and Ivy."

"True. Is that something you actually want to do?"

"Is that something you would actually do?"

"I asked you first!" I declared.

"You know I'm completely sexually liberated, at least as a heterosexual, though I draw the line at S&M, scat, and watersports."

"S&M?"

"Sadism and Masochism; giving or receiving pain. Something we both ruled out."

"Right. I just didn't know the initials. So that's a 'yes'?"

"Yes."

"Here's the REAL question — receiving, too?"

"Asks the guy who is the metaphorical lover in Ezekiel!"

"You'll forgive me if I don't catch that reference."

"Ezekiel is a book in the Jewish Scriptures. He's writing about Israel following foreign gods, comparing Israel to a loose woman who…_'lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses_'."

"I know that verse! My friend Paula used it as an example of porn in the Bible."

"Did she also tell you about _Song of Solomon_ where there are references to hard dicks and dripping pussies, just couched in poetry?"

"Yes, something about the guy being compared to the 'cedars of Lebanon'."

"Exactly," Beth said. "And referring to a rounded goblet, always dripping with wine on the girl."

"So, the answer to the question?"

"I think I'd allow it as part of an exchange," she said. "But I don't think either of us are enamored enough with the idea to agree. Let's leave it how we're leaving the light bondage. When you're ready to ask to have sex, I'll ask, and you can say 'yes' or 'no', and I'll ask, and you can say 'yes' or 'no'."

"I'm good with that."