Chapter 38 — Aren't We the Pair?

_February 15, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

{psc} "Are you OK?" Bianca asked at breakfast on Wednesday morning.

"Yes. I just needed some time alone last night to remember Keiko and order my thoughts."

Jack came into the kitchen just then and unsurprisingly asked the exact same question, and I gave the exact same answer. When we all had finished breakfast, we headed to work.

"I was playing more with the Macintosh," Bianca said not long after we'd left the house. "It has two killer programs — _MacWrite_, which is a word processor, and _MacPaint_ which is a graphics drawing program. I think we could do some interesting things with our analyst reports, including graphs and other things we can't do with the current setup."

"But everyone would have to have a Macintosh then, right?"

"I think there might be a way to transfer files from the IBM PC to the Macintosh, but I'll have to look into it. There is no _Novell_ client, so that's off the table. If there is a way, then you would just need one Macintosh for someone to put everything together, print it, and photocopy it for everyone."

"Look into it with Tony, but don't spend a lot of time on it right now. Forecasting and analysis are far more important, and everyone is used to reading the text. I like the idea, but we don't want to slow down on the programming you and Steve are doing. That's already showing good results with analysis, though it's more limited than I'd hoped."

"That's a problem with both _VisiCalc_ and a new program that Steve Smith is championing, _Lotus-1-2-3_, and the PC/XT systems. IBM is releasing a faster system, though DOS has significant memory limitations."

"Are you suggesting we switch spreadsheet programs?" I asked.

"Not yet, but _Lotus-1-2-3_ is gaining serious market share. Steve expects it to displace _VisiCalc_."

"OK. Sorry I interrupted."

"It's OK. Anyway, the Sun-1 workstation that Steve and I share would be too expensive to put on half the desks and have analysts share. Fundamentally, we need advances in speed and increases in memory to do what you want. It'll take time, but it will happen. Sun has a new system out, the Sun-2, which is faster and could support more users, but we're not ready for that."

"I trust you, Steve, and Tony to advise me in that regard."

"If you're done with that topic," Jack said, "I have a practical question not related to work."

"Ask away!"

"Are you taking all the furniture with you to the new place?"

That was something I hadn't considered, and I knew Jack and Kristy would have a tough time filling the house with furniture. Closing the deal with MTB Sports Management meant I'd have an additional $8,000, before taxes and what I would give to Jack for the idea, over and above the approximately $25,000 I'd receive in my quarterly check. I could easily furnish the new place with no difficulty.

"I actually hadn't thought about that. This isn't like with the previous move where we had a deadline to be out. Deanna will stay until her new studio is ready, which means likely sometime in April, depending on the permits. Fortunately, what we're doing is minor, except for electrical, so the permits are easier to get. As for the rest of us, probably in stages.

"As I think about it, I'll probably buy new stuff for the condo, except for the Japanese room – all of that will move to the new Japanese room. That means we'll probably all be here until late April, so I can use my quarterly check for new furniture. The only consideration is what Bianca does, given the baby is due in early April."

"Jack, do you think you and Kristy could hack a baby in the house for two weeks?"

"I think we could manage," he replied.

"Then I think the smart move is to stay at the house," Bianca said. "The nursery is ready, and I'm not going to be in any shape to want to move in March! May I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Ask Rich if he has any contacts in Japan who could procure «tatami» mats for the Japanese room. You can certainly afford it, and that would basically finish the room in that style."

"I suspect Keiko's grandfather has some friends who either are in Japan or know someone in Japan. I'll call him today. If that doesn't pan out, I'll ask Rich."

"You should also consider a futon to replace the couch. That's more appropriate to the style and would give us one additional bed if we needed it. Well, unless that would somehow be inappropriate."

"I don't think so," I replied. "The urn with Keiko's ashes will go in my room so it's away from the «kamidana» to avoid giving offense to Keiko's family, should they visit."

"Who all was there yesterday?"

"All her relatives who were at the funeral, including the ones from California. It was a simple ceremony – the same prayer from the funeral, incense, and a small fire in a brazier. The usual thing to do when you visit is pour water on the stele with the person's name, clap your hands, and burn incense."

"Clap your hands?" Jack asked.

"To get the attention of the «kami», or so the story goes. I did it because it was traditional, not because Keiko or I believed «kami» are real, like ghosts or spirits."

"How often are you supposed to visit?"

"There are varying traditions, and I'm going to go with the American one of visiting on December 27th each year. Her parents and grandparents will follow whichever Japanese tradition is followed by their extended families."

"Are you going to keep in touch with them?" Bianca asked.

"I'd like to stay in touch with her grandfather. He and I connected on a level I haven't connected with any male in my life."

"A father figure?"

"Or grandfather, but yeah. You know my situation growing up, and what I have with him is something I missed growing up. Weirdly, I didn't miss it until I met him."

"How could you? You worked for men, had a few male teachers, and Bev's dad, I guess. Your role model, if you will, was your mom. Not having a strong male presence in your life doesn't seem to have harmed you in any way."

"I suppose not, though I don't have any experience with being a dad or relating to a dad."

"If you treat our daughter the way you treat everyone else, she'll be just fine," Bianca said. "I'll be curious to see how you respond to the first boy she brings home."

I chuckled, "What I've heard called the true test of any man's life!"

We arrived at the Hancock Center, parked, and then headed up to the Spurgeon offices. The morning was routine, and just before lunch, I received some good news — Deanna's lease application and been approved and would begin on March 1st.

I ate lunch with Bianca, went to the gym, and mid-afternoon, placed a call to Ichirō to ask about the Japanese flooring. He asked for the room dimensions and promised to check into it for me, as well as locate someone in the Chicagoland area who could install it properly.

"Would you join us for dinner on Sunday?" Ichirō inquired.

"I'd be honored," I replied.

We agreed on the time, I thanked him again for his help, and we ended the call. About ninety minutes later, I left the office to meet Deanna at Star of Siam for dinner.

"Your lease application was approved and starts March 1st."

"AWESOME!" she exclaimed. "I spoke to your friend at Brown Construction, and there is no way to avoid using a licensed electrician."

"I was sure that was the case. We can do everything else, right?"

"Yes. Laying tile, painting, and so on aren't things that need permits. We're not touching the plumbing or any structural walls, so we don't have to worry about bringing anything up to code."

"What isn't to code?"

"The bathroom. There's no way to get in there with a wheelchair, and given where it's located, I can see how it could be fixed without major reconstruction. I don't intend for it to be for public use, anyway, so it's not a big deal. It would just be me or any artists who worked at the studio. I did come up with a name."

"What's that?"

"_Ateljé D_, for my first initial. I'll paint it on the front window from the inside so we don't have to spend money on a sign. I plan to leave the kitchen door that swings in and out in place to separate the gallery from the studio."

"It's your space! What's the plan for this weekend?"

"I need you with me at the opening on Friday evening."

"Same schtick as Evanston?"

"I actually was thinking of changing styles. I found a dress at a second-hand shop that is perfect!"

"You?! In a dress?!"

Deanna laughed, "I am NOT going to be Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm or a 1950s housewife! It's black, form-fitting, and has slits and other openings, all tasteful, of course. I'll pull my hair back and not wear any makeup except a bit of eyeliner. It'll have a very avant-garde look."

"And me?"

"One of your suits, of course, but I want you to get purple suspenders and a purple tie. It'll make you look edgy and chic while still being my conservative patron. Can your friend Beth help with that?"

"I'm sure she can. I'll call her first thing tomorrow. Speaking of style, I'm going to purchase all new furniture for the condo. I'd like you to design a look or create a theme if that's something you could do."

"I can, but I'll get some help from my friend Natasha, who is studying interior design. She'd want to photograph it for her portfolio."

"That works for me."

"Excellent!"

When we finished our meal, we headed to the Art Institute, and I pulled Alexa aside.

"I just want to make sure you're OK with my hands on your bare stomach."

Alexa laughed, "You clearly didn't look over ALL the poses! There's one where you cup my bare boobs from behind!"

"OK, then," I replied in amusement. "I just want to make sure before I touch someone that way."

"I appreciate it. It is kind of intimate."

"Kind of?"

"There are more intimate places to touch, but Claire isn't going to push things that far! As liberal as the school is, anything that comes close to pornography is off-limits."

"I thought the First Amendment protected pornography."

"It does, but the School of the Art Institute is a private organization, and they can make whatever rules they want. Tasteful nudes are fine, but _Hustler_-style beaver shots are not!"

"I know about Larry Flynt because he got into it with a prosecutor in Cincinnati, but I don't know what you mean."

"_Playboy_ shows pubic hair but is very careful to have the models keep their legs together or keep the angle of the photograph such that it's not too explicit. _Hustler_ will have a girl with her legs spread wide and even using her fingers to spread her labia. The first would be OK here, but the second wouldn't. All our poses will be more like _Playboy_, _Playgirl_, or _Cosmo_, though Burt Reynolds didn't show his equipment in that nude shot."

"Nude shot?"

"_Cosmopolitan_ had tasteful nudes; basically centerfolds without genitals on display. Burt Reynolds was gorgeous! I had all kinds of fantasies about him!"

"Jonathan?" Claire said from behind me. "I changed my mind for tonight. Keep your suit on, but Alexa will have her shirt off. I want to play with the power dynamic."

I actually had experienced that with Jeri, and it was an intriguing concept. In a way, it was similar to what Deanna was portraying at her shows, though in that case, the power dynamic was muddled and could be seen either way — the rich, powerful patron and the poor, starving, disaffected artist; or the desirable, sexy, talented artist who controlled her patron with a combination of art and sex.

"OK," I replied.

"Next week, we'll do the same thing both days, so don't change out of your suit."

"Got it," I said.

Alexa went into the office, and I went to the studio. A minute later, Alexa came in wearing a thin robe, which she took off when the class started. Claire moved us into the pose with me standing slightly left of Alexa. Alexa removed her robe, and Claire positioned my hands on Alexa's stomach.

"Strong, warm hands," Alexa said quietly.

"Soft skin and a firm, toned stomach," I replied.

When the session ended, Deanna and I headed home together.

"Will you pose for me?" she asked.

"I'm curious what an abstract image of me would look like!"

Deanna laughed, "That would be interesting, but my portfolio for my painting class requires multiple styles. This one would be 'realism', so as accurate as possible. The other one can be in any style, and I wondered if you and Bianca would pose, specifically before she gives birth?"

"Nudes?"

"Of you? I could, but I was actually thinking of you in the Japanese room, standing in front of the Spirit Shelf. But the one with Bianca would be awesome if it were a nude, with you behind her, her hands on her baby belly, and your hands on top of hers."

"If Bianca is game, I'm game. When the time comes, I want to buy both of those for my private collection."

"Yes, of course! I prefer to keep my public art abstract. Maybe I'll do something else at some point."

"You're displaying the four paintings for my office at the show, right?"

"Yes. Lizbeth wasn't happy about that because she won't earn any commissions. But there are two I have that are for sale, so it'll work out. How are you doing after yesterday?"

"OK. Just give me a bit of time. I haven't forgotten the raincheck!"

_February 16, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

Thursday was a routine day at work, and nothing major happened in the world. At lunch, I'd met Beth at the tailor shop, and she'd picked out a bold purple tie and suspenders, which were a shade lighter. I paid for them, we agreed to have lunch the following week, and I returned to the office.

I was a bit frustrated at not being able to find any big plays, but the Nikkei was doing well, so my returns were decent. I had a number of stocks in play, but those might or might not hit by the end of the year. I would make some money on gold and silver, but nothing like the previous years, as the spreads simply weren't as large.

"I have an idea," Tony said, coming into my office just after 4:00pm.

"Let's hear it."

"I ran across a lawsuit filed by Delta Data Systems Corporation against the FBI for improperly awarding a contract to a subsidiary of Burroughs. I'm no lawyer, but in reading their claims, I think they have a good shot at winning. It's an OTC stock trading around 1¾, and if they win, it has an upside of around 2¾."

"And if they lose?"

"The company fundamentals are good, so I don't see a price lower than around $1½."

"Is there enough float that a large OTC trade won't drive the price up?"

"You'd have to buy in small lots over time. The case won't be heard until July, and it usually takes a couple of months to publish the opinion."

"Write it up, but run the brief by Tim Liston in Legal so you have some backup."

"Going to pull the trigger right away?"

"No. We'll have to accumulate over time, and I need to think about how much I want to risk. Good find, even if it doesn't pan out. I like the creativity."

"Thanks! A friend of mine argues before the DC Circuit, and he says the judge in this case, some guy named Scalia, is pro-business and anti-government, so if the FBI didn't follow the rules, he'll nail them. I'll go see Tim now."

"OK."

He left, and I scribbled a note to research DDSC. I finished my day and headed home with Jack and Bianca. We had a nice dinner, which Juliette had prepared, and after dinner, I went up to my room so I could place a phone call.

"Hello?"

"Kayleigh?"

"Yes."

"This is Jonathan Kane. I was wondering if you'd like to meet for coffee on Monday. I believe you have the day off work the same as I do."

"I do. And yes! Absolutely! Where?"

"I live in Rogers Park, so pretty much anything is convenient. You choose."

"I live in Bridgeport. We could meet at Lou Mitchell's'. Maybe for breakfast?"

There wasn't much difference between coffee and breakfast in my mind, in terms of the limits I wanted to set.

"Breakfast it is! What time?"

"8:30am?"

"Sounds good to me."

"I'm really looking forward to it!"

"Then I'll see you there."

"Thanks for calling me! Bye!"

"Bye!"

I hung up, then went downstairs to spend time with my housemates before bed.

_February 17, 1984, Oak Park, Illinois_

"That dress is out of this world!" I said to Deanna when I picked her up at home for the drive to Oak Park.

"I thought you'd like it! And the tie is perfect!"

"How many artists are showing their work?"

"Nine, including me, in a mix of styles."

"I'm curious, why do you want to only offer abstract paintings for sale?"

"It's my personal style and what really moves me. I can do other stuff, but that often feels like work. It's like the paintings I need to do of you and Bianca, and you by yourself. I'll do them, but I'm not driven to do them. The drawing portfolio for Claire is similar, though I enjoy freehand drawing and like working with pastels. But I'm not inspired by the series of drawings the way I am the art I did for you, for example."

"Anala had to draw every bridge over the Chicago River for an architecture class, so it seems as if that's a thing."

"It is. There are actually artists who created a series of paintings of the same thing, only in different lighting or different seasons or whatever. I think I've mentioned those."

"You have."

"What do you think of modeling?"

"It's boring," I replied.

"It'll be a bit more interesting this coming week!"

I chuckled, "Yes, but weirdly, it's not about sex."

"If you figured that out, you're way ahead of the game for most people. _David_, _Venus_, and other works that feature nudity are not about sex. What you're doing is kind of in between because it implies sex, but modeling isn't about sex, which was my point about it not being pornography.

"There is, other than the medium, no difference between _Playboy_ and _The Birth of Venus_. Both are art. Period. You know the painting I'm referring to, right? A nude Venus on a shell painted by Botticelli?"

"Yes."

"So, consider the difference between _Venus_ or _Playboy_ and _Octopuses and the Ama girl_."

"I see your point; I don't think society agrees."

"Society most definitely does not agree! A hint of female nipple, and it's the end of the world! And it's worse with pubic hair. There are people who think _David_ should have a loincloth!"

"That's just stupid!"

"I'd love to see them visit _The Louvre_ and see _Sleeping Hermaphroditus_!"

"I don't know that one."

"It's absolutely not seventh-grade art class material! If you approach it from behind, it appears to be a beautiful nude girl lying on her side with a cute, well-formed ass. If you walk around the other side, you see nice boobs but also a penis."

"OK, then," I replied, shaking my head.

"The word 'hermaphrodite' means, generally speaking, having both sets of external genitalia. That's an actual medical condition, which is very rare. The word derives from Greek mythology, with the god Hermaphroditus, the son of Hermes and Aphrodite in Greek mythology.

"According to the poet Ovid, he fused with the nymph Salmacis, resulting in one individual possessing physical traits of male and female sexes. There's a statue of 'him' in the Lady Lever Art Gallery in England. That one is standing and is basically a beautiful female form, including nice breasts, but with male genitals.

"Okey dokey," I chuckled.

"There's also a nine-part photo series by Nadar from the 19th century that shows an actual human being with both genitalia — penis, testicles, and vulva. If we go to Paris, we might see them at Musée d'Orsay. When I was there, they were on loan, so I haven't actually seen them."

"Conversations with you are never boring!" I chuckled as I turned into the parking lot.

"Art is, by its very nature, expressive, provocative, controversial, and challenging to the viewer. It evokes emotion in ways that almost nothing else can. Music can do something similar, but the visual arts are very evocative."

"The emotions you express in your abstract work."

"Yes. And they're stronger than realism because they don't conform to any expectation about the natural world."

"An interesting concept. I suppose we need to put on our game faces! Successful stockbroker and disinterested artist!"

We got out of the car and made our way to the gallery, where we were greeted by Joan Baxter, the gallery owner. A waiter in a tux brought us flutes of sparkling wine, and we began to mingle with the other artists and attendees.

About an hour into the show, Joan Baxter introduced all of the artists, and people came to speak to Deanna. I was very pleased that there was significant interest in the four paintings Deanna had done for my office — 'Bull Market', 'Bear Market', 'Silver Market', and 'Gold Market'.

"I'll offer you five times what you were paid for those if you'll sell them to me right now," a guy in his forties said.

He had on a suit as expensive as mine and, in my mind, absolutely had to be a fellow securities professional.

"I'm sorry," Deanna said, "but I can't renege on the sale. They'll be displayed at Spurgeon Capital."

"Shit!" the man groused. "Beaten to the punch by Noel Spurgeon. Again!"

"Relax, John," a gorgeous blonde in her early twenties counseled. "Don't let him get to you!"

"Miss Haight," he said, "I'd like to preview your work before the next show. I'll write you a check for $1000 right now if you guarantee access before Noel Spurgeon!"

I was doing my best to not laugh because it wasn't Noel, it was me. I was sure he discounted that idea, given how young I was, despite wearing an expensive tailored suit. I suspected he felt I was a junior guy like Foulks who was just learning the ropes but had to dress the part.

"Let me think about it," Deanna said. "Come see me in twenty minutes."

"I will!"

He and the gorgeous blonde moved away.

"Nice arm candy," Deanna smirked. "But she's the girlfriend, not the wife!"

"That's a sucker bet if I ever heard one!" I chuckled. "I almost burst out laughing because you could take his money, keep your promise, and the paintings could _still_ end up at Spurgeon!"

"What do you think?"

"I think you should take the man up on his offer and let him see whatever it is you plan to display on Memorial Day in Skokie. Or, just have a private showing of anything you're willing to sell once you open the gallery, which should be sometime in April."

"I can make the promise and that $1000 would cover a good part of the renovations."

"Then do that."

About twenty minutes later, after mingling with other attendees, Deanna concluded the deal and put the check for $1000 in her purse. He handed her a business card, and she promised she'd be in touch.

The rest of the evening was more mingling, and when the show finally closed for the evening, Deanna and I left the gallery and headed home.

_February 18, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

On Saturday morning, I had my usual routine — breakfast with Violet, where I shared the list of baseball games we'd attend, then went to class. After class, I returned to Violet's house so we could have lunch.

"How did your session with Nancy go?" I asked once Violet had invited me inside.

"Good. I'll see her again in two weeks. I have lunch ready."

We went to the kitchen to eat homemade pizza, which was very good.

"I didn't want to ask you at the office," Violet said. "How did things go on Tuesday?"

"Fine. It was a very short ceremony, with the same prayer from the funeral, and a few graveside practices, including pouring water in the stele that has Keiko's and my name on it."

"Can I ask you something about that?"

"Of course."

"You intend to be cremated and have your ashes next to hers?"

"Yes."

"What if you remarry? Won't that cause a problem with your wife?"

"That wasn't even a consideration when I made the commitment to Keiko, which I do not regret making. As for marrying again, that's a possibility in the future, and, to be honest, if I were to marry, it wouldn't change the promise I made."

"That could cause real contention."

"Which is why I'd bring it up before I asked someone to marry me, if that ever happens."

"You might not?"

I shrugged, "It's the same answer as last Saturday – I'm not sure how to move forward."

"Is this where I say you should spend the night and solve both our problems at once?"

"Please answer honestly — do you think that's a good idea and that it would work?"

"You know I was teasing, right?"

"I'm going to be me, if that's OK?"

"Yes," Violet agreed.

"You were teasing, but you also weren't. Setting aside the fact that I'm not ready to be involved with anyone that way, if I were to come back and spend the night, you would at least try. The question is, are you sure we should? Which is what we discussed last week."

"It's so confusing," Violet said. "I did discuss it with Nancy today, and she asked me pretty bluntly how I would react if you were to use your mouth on me. I started shaking, and she said that so long as I had that reaction, I shouldn't."

"I think she has a good point, though I can see a problem with that thinking."

"What do you mean?"

"We're approaching this as an 'all-or-nothing' situation, and that's partly my fault. I think taking things slowly, step-by-step, might allow you to become comfortable with the idea. But I told you that wasn't possible because of what it would mean. The problem is I effectively imposed my view of what it would mean on you without asking you."

"You mean what you said about a real kiss, right?"

"Yes. I owe you an apology because I didn't ask you; I told you. And I basically put you in a trap where unless you feel ready to go to bed together, we'll never have a first real kiss, and it's unlikely you'll feel ready to go to bed together without slowly working towards it."

"Which is the same trap you put yourself in because of Keiko, right?"

"So it would seem. Aren't we the pair?"

"What are you saying? That we should work our way up to going to bed together without being boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"I have no idea what I'm saying," I replied. "I just analyzed the situation, I didn't work out a solution."

"Obviously, you aren't now, but before Keiko, you had sex with girls who weren't your girlfriends, right? I mean, you weren't exclusive with them."

"Yes."

"I'm going to say something, but I still want to think about it, OK?"

"Say whatever you need to say, please. That's the only way forward."

"I think the only thing we can do is try. Start with kissing and see how I feel, then more stuff. If we get to the point where I want you to spend the night, then we worry about boyfriend and girlfriend. Obviously, you aren't ready to even kiss at this point, so I have some time to think about it."

"I once said to someone that any kind of physical intimacy with you would feel like a permanent commitment. You gave that impression, too, though I may have imputed that to you, rather than discerned it."

"I don't know," Violet replied. "Nancy pointed out that at the time when I was supposed to be thinking about boys and deciding what my limits were, my parents were abusing my sister and locking me in a cage. That messed me up, not just about sex, but about relationships. Until I met you, I didn't have any close friends, and now I have you and Lily. I have no clue how to have a romantic relationship because I was so scared and didn't do the usual stuff as a teenager."

"Believe it or not, neither did I. Yes, sure, I had sex with Bev, and she was a close friend, but Lily was exactly right when she called me a 'starter boyfriend'. Both of us had a lot to learn, and we made a bunch of mistakes."

"Which is what concerns you, right? That you'll mess up? I feel the same way. But you have experience, and I don't mean sex, I mean relationships. I've never even gone on a date. Well, with you, but those aren't date dates, if that makes sense."

"Yes, because we're going out as very close friends, not as romantic partners or potential romantic partners. That was off limits, so to speak."

"Will you do something for me?"

"Of course."

"When you're ready to kiss someone, ask me for a real kiss, OK? I'll give you a straight 'yes' or 'no' answer."

"I will."

_February 19, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

On Sunday, I spent a relaxing morning and afternoon at the house, then headed to Ichirō's house for dinner with him and Atsuko.

"How are you doing, Jonathan?" he asked after we were seated at the low table.

"I'm OK. I miss Keiko, but it helps to be busy at work and with my classes."

"Which classes?"

"One in international finance at Circle, the other so I can obtain my Series 30 license, which allows me to supervise other people with licenses. I also made arrangements to start a program at Circle that will allow me to obtain a Bachelor's degree in business through independent study."

"That's very good. Tell me about the place you're moving to, please."

I described the condo, something I hadn't done when I'd asked Ichirō to find a source for the «tatami» mats.

"Keiko said you were extremely successful, but you were also very 'down to earth', as she called it. She implied that your co-workers look down on others and behave in ways that are completely inappropriate."

"Unfortunately, yes."

"It's important that you not allow that to infect you like a virus. It's very easy to follow the dominant culture or follow the crowd. Mental discipline is very important, and that's something you've shown, but it's also something that must be exercised, just as your body must be exercised. The same is true for your spirit."

I smiled, "Keiko suggested that you would invite me to be a student once we married, but events overtook us."

"I had intended to do that, but the last thing I wanted to do was distract you from your purpose in life — to love my granddaughter and help her in a way no other person could. You truly were her courageous protector. I am, and always will be, grateful. Would you consider becoming a student?"

"My time is very limited because of work and class. I'm not sure I could commit to the necessary training sessions to perform at a level which would respect you and your dōjō."

"May I give you something to read and study?"

"Yes, of course."

He rose and left the room, returning a minute later. He handed me a small booklet.

"This contains the «Shōtōkan nijū kun» and the «Dōjō kun», which are the basic principles of our form of martial arts. I think you'll find they provide mental and spiritual guidance, and once you've read and studied them, we can discuss them."

"I promise to do that."

"Good. I'd like to have dinner with you once a month or so, if you're willing."

"I am."

I had an enjoyable evening, and around 9:30pm, I headed home.

_February 20, 1984, Chicago, Illinois_

On Monday morning, I left the house at 7:45am to take the L to meet Kayleigh for breakfast at Lou Mitchell's. I walked in about 8:25am and she was waiting for me by the hostess stand. We greeted each other and were seated about two minutes later.

"I'm really happy you called," she said. "I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thanks."

The waitress came, poured coffee, and set a small basket of doughnut balls on the table. Kayleigh and I both knew what we wanted to order, so the waitress wrote on her pad, then went to hand in the orders with the kitchen.

"I'm very interested in how you went from High School graduate to stockbroker in two years. Would you tell me?"

I nodded and gave her a two-minute synopsis of how my uncle had secured the mailroom position for me and how I'd worked my way up to Head of Research."

"Wow! I'm amazed at how quickly you could achieve that. And without going to college at all, not even junior college."

"Hard work and determination still pay off," I replied. "My uncle did something similar to become a real estate investor, though he did graduate from college. One of the prominent people in the securities industry started his firm with money he earned as a lifeguard. And, of course, there are the stories of J. D. Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie, to name two. Have you lived in Bridgeport your entire life?"

"No. My family is from Elmhurst, but when I got the job at Hart-Lincoln, I moved to a two-flat in Bridgeport so I could take the L rather than drive. What do your parents do?"

"My dad was a salesman but died in a plane crash before I was born. My mom is a senior secretary at Goshen High School. How about you?"

"My dad teaches American Government at York High, and my mom is a nurse at Elmhurst Hospital. Do you have siblings?"

"No. I was born when my mom was seventeen, and she never married. You?"

"Two younger sisters – seventeen and fifteen. What sports do you like?"

"Baseball, football, and hockey. You?"

"Baseball. Let me guess, Big Red Machine?"

"A safe bet! Cubs or Sox?"

"Cubs, despite living a stone's throw from Comiskey Park. Do you live in an apartment?"

"No, I own a house which I share with six friends."

"You own a house, too? Wow!"

"I'm surprised you didn't know, given Nelson prepared my will and other documents."

"I actually didn't work on them. I was only there to notarize the documents. I work for two criminal defense lawyers."

"What kind of law does your grandfather practice?"

"Criminal defense, but I don't usually work for him."

"Then I think I need to tell you a bit more about me. You know I was married, obviously, but what you don't know is that a close female friend is pregnant with my baby."

"But…" she started. "Sorry, I'll let you explain."

"The simplest way to convey the situation is that my friend Bianca has a girlfriend and wanted to have a baby. We agreed and had planned for it to be a few years from now. Then, I met Keiko, and because of everything that happened, Bianca and I accelerated our timeline. There's way more to the story, but my daughter will be born in April."

"A girlfriend…"

"Yes. And just to get it out on the table, four of my closest friends are gay."

"I don't have a problem with gays, I was just surprised about you fathering a baby with a girl who wasn't your wife. How is that going to work?"

"We'll raise our daughter together. How that will work exactly remains to be seen."

"Are you and this girl still involved?"

"Not in the way your question implied. Despite fathering a child with Bianca, I honored my commitment to my marriage vows. I was always sure I wanted a committed, monogamous marriage for life, but that didn't preclude having a baby with Bianca. By that time, it was fairly clear Keiko would very likely not be able to conceive because of her chemotherapy and the necessity for a bone marrow transplant. Having a baby with Bianca allowed me to have a biological child. Keiko and I would have adopted, had she survived."

Before Kayleigh could respond, the waitress brought our food, then refilled our coffee cups.

"That's a lot to take in," Kayleigh observed.

"It is," I agreed.